


Best Laid Schemes

by Yognautical (KiiKitsune)



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Bullying, Civ 5 AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 22:24:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiiKitsune/pseuds/Yognautical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We should wedgie the bully."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Laid Schemes

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Rythian's commentary around 17:00 of their Civ 5 part 11 - A Storm is Coming video  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ylw70EXhYTA
> 
> “We should wedgie the bully.”  
> “Are you kidding me? He’d punch me!”  
> “But he can’t punch us if there’s four of us!”  
> “Well he probably could punch at least two of us!”  
> “Yeah, but the rest of us would be alive!”

Sjin was the one to find it. For once, Rythian didn’t mind the little toady’s sneakiness. The place was perfect after all. A bit cramped, but perfect. 

Sips and Sjin occupied the corners closest to the building. Sips was sprawled out, his feet propped up on Sjin’s lap. Sjin frowned at the boy’s muddy sneakers, but he’d given up trying to push Sips off some time in the fourth grade. 

Rythian had taken the space beneath the incline of the stairs to avoid being pressed up against anyone more than he needed to be. It meant he had to hunch over, but at least his personal space remained intact. 

Duncan, of course, ruined this when he climbed into their secret little hide-away and shoved Rythian over so he could sit down too. Rythian scowled, leaning as far out of the blond’s range as he could go without plastering himself to Sjin. 

“Sorry I’m late; had to throw Lewis off track.”

Rythian’s eyes widened and he scrambled over Duncan to peak out of the entrance. He glanced around, but saw no sign of Lewis.

“Ugh, get off, you’re crushing me.”

Rythian moved back to his place and scowled at Duncan. “Stop whining.” 

Sjin snorted. “Like you’re one to talk, Crybaby.”

Rythian punched Sjin in the arm. “Ow! Hey!”

“Come on, Sjin,” Sips said, failing to hide his grin, “You know he’s sensitive about that.”

“I hate you all. So much.” Massaging the bridge of his nose, Rythian sighed. “OK. Down to business. You all saw the note?”

“I still think it’s a bad idea,” Sjin said. 

“I gotta agree. Dude’s tiny, but he’s got a mean left jab.” Sips rubbed his his ribs through his shirt. The bruise had disappeared a week ago, but the habit hadn’t faded with it. 

Duncan crossed his arms. “I agree with Rythian.”

Sips barked out a laugh. “There’s something you don’t hear every day.”

“He has a point,” Duncan pressed on, “We can’t let Lewis run all over us, like last year. We’re in the sixth grade now! Practically men!”

“I think I grew my first chest hair last week.”

“Good for you, Sjin.” Sips slapped him on the back. Sjin grinned toothily at him.

Duncan rolled his eyes. “Guys!”

“Look,” Sips said, suddenly serious, “I want to survive long enough to get jiggy with all the hot high school girls. That’s not gonna happen if we do this.”

Sjin nodded along emphatically. 

“‘Get jiggy with’? Really Sips?” Rythian shook his head. “Whatever. How are you going to face those girls knowing you’re a coward?”

Sips pointed a finger at him. “It’s not being a coward. It’s having a brain.”

“Look; we have to show Lewis who’s boss. I’m not spending another night blow-drying all my textbooks because he dumped juice all over them, alright?” Duncan said.

“And I don’t want to go hungry because he stole my lunch again.” Rythian added.

Sjin frowned, picking at Sips’ shoelaces. “He always takes my pudding. That’s the best part of any lunch.”

Rythian jumped on the boy’s indecisiveness. “You’d never have to worry about your pudding again, you know. Maybe we could even make him give you his pudding.”

Sjin looked doubtful. So did Duncan. “That might be a little much.”

“Yeah, probably,” Rythian admitted. “But still! We can do this!”

"Maybe..."

“You losers are going to get yourselves killed.” Sips said.

Sjin turned to the boy, gripping his ankles. “Please Sips? We can’t do it without you. You’re the muscle, after all.”

Sips puffed up a little bit. “Well, yeah, of course I am… But--”

“It all depends on you.” Duncan said, catching on.

Rythian raised an eyebrow, but played along. “Yeah, Sips. We’re useless without you.”

“I am a pretty awesome guy.” Sips grinned.

“The best guy, even.” Sjin said. 

“Alright, alright. You crazy jerks. I guess someone has to keep Lewis from kicking your buckets.”

Rythian gave a relieved sigh. His plan wouldn’t work with only three people. “So here’s what we’re going to do-”

“What are you going to do?”

The four of them collectively jumped at the new, horribly familiar voice. They all turned, very slowly, to look at the entrance. Lewis was crouched there; blocking their only exit with a terrifying smile.

“Oh man. Oh jeez.” 

“How’s it going guys?”


End file.
